Montclair STAR Program

For Those Seeking Therapy for Relationship Trauma

Montclair, NJ - MontclairSTAR

Focused treatment is available for the individual whose challenge is in finding satisfaction and fulfillment in an intimate relationship.

The Need to Love

The desire to love and be loved is integral to living life with a sense of contentment and wellbeing. When love fails or is not realized, the pain and stress is often experienced as shame. Under the pressure of these difficult feelings people react differently. All with the purpose however: that of keeping the painful, self defeating feelings at bay.

While one person may become relationship avoidant, remaining in denial of the unmet need, avoiding people and situations that may engender feelings of vulnerability, another may be engaging in high risk behaviors or be hyper-focused in pursuit of love to the detriment of other aspects of her life.

Yet another person looking for love, may repeatedly make the choice for a partner on the basis of factors felt to be attractive in the short run, but not characteristic of traits that they would choose in a mate. Living through a string of relationships, each failing for similar reasons, breeds feelings of hopelessness and self doubt.

There are those people who use fantasy to become involved with someone on the basis of what they want life to be like. This is the partner who is waiting in vain for the other to change. When the bubble bursts, the losses have grown to greater levels than before getting involved.

I am using the term relationship trauma to describe the negative impact on the mental health of one or more individuals in a personal union or family as a result of dynamics or actions experienced as harmful, abusive or neglectful to the individual(s) involved.

A skilled therapist who understands relationship issues and problems of intimacy can offer you the opportunity to gently and thoughtfully explore your relational field of vision and desire, and provide support for your pursuit of personal growth, growth-in-relationship and self fulfillment.

A discovery that I think is worth exploring: What it takes to feel good in a relationship is the same as what it takes to feel good yourself. The things that we like about ourselves are the things that attract others to us. And like minded people attract.

Harriet Power LCSW, CSAT is a licensed clinical social worker and certified sex addiction therapist who treats individuals and couples with problematic sexual behaviors, infidelity, addictions and relationship issues.

  • Relationship Trauma
  • Female Sex and Love Addiction
  • Partners and Spouses Impacted by Sex Addiction
  • Problems of Intimacy
  • The Practice of Healthy Sexuality

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